Last Updated: Wednesday, November 28, 2007 11:51 AM CST
News : Life after loss
by Dr. Gina Koeppl - Ministry Behavioral Health
Life after loss is an intensely personal journey, and the hard work begins in this quieter phase after the crisis. This column is designed to provide general and supportive information about trauma, loss and grief. If you have a question you would like answered publicly in this column please send it to Dr. Gina Koeppl, Ministry Behavioral Health, 1020 Kabel Avenue, Rhinelander, WI 54501 or e-mail it to gkoeppl@shsmh.org. If you are struggling or concerned about someone else, do not wait to seek help. If you have additional questions, contact Ministry Behavioral Health at 1-800-779-2881.
No one in my house is sleeping very well. What can we do that will help us sleep?
Sleep disturbances often occur after a major trauma, and it is the single symptom most frequently reported to us. Good sleep is so important to our physical and mental health, so these sleep problems are important to address. These are some ideas:
- Manage your stress during the day. Exercise. Eat well. Manage your time effectively. Spend time with people you like. Try counseling. Commune with nature.
- Think about moments during the day when you experienced a sense of peace or safety.
- Be aware that herbal supplements, caffeine and nicotine can delay sleep; alcohol may encourage light sleep but interferes with restorative deep sleep; review your prescription and over-the-counter medications with your health care provider to make sure that the medicines do not contain caffeine or other stimulants.
- Try a light carbohydrate snack right before bed like crackers. Cheese and milk also contain chemicals that may help with sleepiness.
- Restrict the amount of time you sleep during the day. If you tend to doze in the evening, try to stay alert until bedtime. If your three-year-old takes a nap in the afternoons but can't stay asleep, try to reduce the nap time.
- Reduce noise and light in the room where you sleep. Some people are feeling fearful and try to sleep with lights on overhead, but we would suggest sleeping with a flashlight by the bedside if necessary or night lights to reduce light.
- Learn to be physically and mentally relaxed before bed through reading, bathing, praying, playing a game of solitaire, or using relaxation techniques such as meditation or deep breathing.
- Use visual imagery to imagine a peaceful place as you fall asleep. Close your eyes and picture a place in the woods, or a beach or a favorite activity. Concentrate on how relaxed this activity or place makes you feel.
- Try your own version of counting sheep. Engage your mind in some unimportant task like counting backwards. Make sure it's a boring task.
- Try deep breathing. Close your eyes and breathe fully, involving your chest, ribs, belly, lower back. Breathe slowly and make each breath deeper than the last.
- Try very hard to turn your attention away from not being able to sleep. The fear of not being able to sleep is often disruptive to our efforts to actually fall asleep.
My family is taking part in the gun deer season. I really don't feel right about this.
This hunting season is now upon us - and so soon after the tragedy that many families who traditionally hunt are thinking twiceŠSome who have hunted regularly for years are affected by grief and have temporarily lost interest because the annual event "won't be the same." Some are struggling with the thought of their loved ones in the woods with guns. Some are struggling because hunting and Thanksgiving are intertwined and counting blessings feels forced.
It is important to talk about why the tradition of hunting might be important to uphold for your family. It is also important to find ways to change or add to the tradition so that a new tradition is born. It is important to maintain some hint of the family tradition because rituals and traditions are comforting, but even a small change to the usual events can help everyone embrace the traditional gathering of family and friends. And if the tradition of hunting is just too difficult this year, you and your family can take some time to plan next year's traditional hunt so that it is welcomed event.
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