Last Updated: Wednesday, October 17, 2007 10:22 AM CDT
Not soon forgotten : Grief counseling offered throughout Crandon
by Melissa Theisen - Forest Republican Editor - mtheisen@forestrepublican.com
As the initial shock of the Crandon shootings begins to wear off, Crandon residents as well as people in the surrounding townships may feel the need to seek counseling.
Bud Evans, a parish elder at Praise Chapel Community Church in Crandon, has been offering a shoulder to cry on for many Crandon residents. After news spread of the Oct. 7
shootings, which left seven people dead and one injured, many sought refuge inside the church's walls.
“Grief affects everyone differently. People are crying out for help and don't even know it,” said Evans. “We don't understand why things like this happen.”
Many residents of surrounding communities have struggled to show their support of the families and friends of the victims. Recently, three candlelight vigils were held in Rhinelander, Three Lakes and Eagle River.
“People need to do something,” said Father William Horath of St. Theresa's Catholic Church in Three Lakes. Father Horath lives just across the street from where the Three Lakes' vigil was held Oct. 10.
“People want to do something, but don't know what to do.”
The vigils, he said, give people an outlet for their feelings.
A candlelight vigil was also held in Crandon last week, which according to Evans, was a “tremendous” help for those trying to find some find closure.
“It gave them a chance to offer their love and their sorrow,” he said.
While counseling is being offered free of charge by the Crandon School District, St. Mary's Ministry Healthcare and the Forest County Potawatomi Health and Wellness Center as well as at area churches and by special groups who have set up base in Crandon to offer counsel, some people may want to travel to another town where not “everybody knows who you are.”
Some may just want help in figuring out how to tell their children about what has happened.
In his many dealings with death and dying, Father Horath has learned that while young children may go on as if nothing happened, they are affected by the loss and sorrow around them.
“When parents are hurting, kids know that,” said Horath. “Kids react to other kids' hurt whether they know them or not. They're affected. Kids will have curiosity. They (children) need to know that death is not something to be afraid of.”
Over the next days, weeks, months and years, people will move through the grieving process. However, not everyone goes through the stages of grieving at the same time. Some find acceptance while others are angry. Some remain in denial while others are depressed. And while most people understand that everyone deals with grief differently, having a spouse, family member, friend or neighbor at a different stage can make having a relationship with that person difficult.
Horath has had some experience in dealing with people at different phases of the grieving process.
“No two people deal with any grieving process the same way,” he said. “You've got to understand where they're coming from and accept it. It's hard to imagine what they're going through.”
The support of family and friends helps people in moving on, Horath added.
“You've got to be able to forgive,” said Evans. “Love and anger can't be in the same place.”
“This is something that shouldn't soon be forgotten,” he added.
A fund has been set up to help the families of the victims at the Laona State Bank. Donations can be made in person or mailed to Laona State Bank, P.O. Box 128, Laona, WI 54541. Contact any local parish, St. Mary's Ministry Healthcare or FCP Health and Wellness Center if you or someone you know needs counseling.
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Dozens of floral arrangements have been placed at the site of the Crandon shootings. Flowers for all of the victims’ funerals were paid for by Karthauser & Sons, Inc of Germantown.
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Paul W wrote on Oct 22, 2007 9:55 PM: